wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
