told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
