I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize