I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I want to fling myself into the sun
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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