I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
