Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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