Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
