He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
