Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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