Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
