I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
