well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
