Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
