the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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