i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
not ubering you a puppy
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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