This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
