Can i not drive my cunt home
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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