Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Someone came in the potted fern
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
