Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.