I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
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Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.