i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
