mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
