It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
