So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
