Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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