go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize