i don't plan on having that self control this summer
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
