This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
