if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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