im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
