dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
