think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
