id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
