YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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