his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
