I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize