the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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