dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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