ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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