Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
