Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
