you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize