just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
