i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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