Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
