I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
