Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
