Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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