Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
