Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing