somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
