thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
