If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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