you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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