Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
