We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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