You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
